the other side of love

I see you passing through before my very eyes with the one you just pronounced as yours.
My heart isn't bumping. It beats no harder than usual. It's quiet. too quiet instead.
I don't know whether it's my heart talking or my mind. It forces me refusing the fact. Just betray it as like before.
My mind goes freely, recalling some time in the past. It's like watching flash back movie in the black-and-white screen.

When it was me, the one made you so upset for answering your call too late. the one whom you spoke so nice and made the rest of the day perfect. the one, and the only one, whom you care about.

But if that was all a fake… if that was all a lie… that's all right. Still I prefer that one. I like the way you lie.
At least you were mine too. I need you just to breath.

You! the one who made my day so bright. the one who ignited my soul when it was about to faint. the one who cheer me up when I'm about to give up. the one, and the only one, whom I'd been so care about.

and now,
I see you before my very eyes with the one I never think of.
But I smile for you instead, a fake smile. and I give you some hypocritical sentences; wishing you two last forever, the best for each other, and blablabla...
I'll be just fine! I convince myself.
But I don't know whether it's my heart talking or my mind. It keeps telling me to fight you back.
I can't...
I won't...
It will make no sense after all.
Because I see you passing through before my very eyes with the one who supposed to be me.

Romadhon. Jakarta, October, 2010