Don't expect too much from me.

Because I have nothing to brag.

Seriously.

But I promise not to stop trying and learning.

That's all I could do.

Que Sera Sera

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be

It’s like the whole world wide has already known from the very first that they were meant to be, but themselves.

And now, when the mirror let them see the truth, they can hide no more, they can run no more, but accepted wholeheartedly the fate that was written far before they were born.

It's you.

It was you.

It is always you.

I should’ve known this. I should've known.

Or perhaps, I actually always know.

Maybe, if we just stop looking too far and stop chasing something that we knew it’s out of our league, we would find it -whatever we’re looking for.

If you just only turn your back and come to where you have started for a moment just to see how far you’ve been travelling around, probably you gotta get your answer.

Because sometimes,

we may already get the answer in the very beginning. We were just not realized it yet. Because we had drowned by the adventurous spirit and blinded by the illusion of the perfect imagination we had created ourselves.

Sometimes, what you are looking for is actually there, always near you from the very beginning.

It's not my comfort zone at first. I struggled a lot to be there. Being outcast, left-behind, underestimated whatsoever were not problem for me anymore as I got it too often.
This struggling is finally coming to an end, I think. I get accepted. I am getting equal. And I feel like, I have found my place, my comfort zone.
But then it's getting too comfy that I forget why I am here. What is the very reason I am here.
Leaving the place where you just found you belong is never that easy even when it is the very choice you have left. But one needs improvement, right? Every choice has its own risk. And every better change needs at least a little sacrifice.
Am I ready for this?
Is this a good choice?
Whatsoever.
Once you have decided a thing, you have to be responsible about it. You have to give your one hundred percent. And forget the other option you have chosen not to choose.

You can't judge people by who they were two or four years ago
  You don't know what 'time' could bring
  Ydk how fast people could change

You can't judge pople by how their appearances, by how they looked back then

But sure you do can always consider those
As you too should first consider the way they think and act at the present time

What matter the most is now, for it can lead you to prepare a better future

You cannot change the past
But sure you can change for your future

You can buy a HOUSE, but not a HOME

You can buy a BED, but not SLEEP

You can get a POSITION, but not RESPECT

You can buy a CLOCK, but not TIME

You can buy a BOOK, but not KNOWLEDGE

You can buy BLOOD, but not LIFE

Find your HAPPINESS inside YOU

-Warren Buffet

Fall in

fall in love is truly exhausting.

All you think about is him (or her).

His name is somehow echoing in your head every single time.
You are unconsciously waiting the moment when you see him.
But when you finally saw him, you try so hard to condemn the temptation of saying ‘hi’ or whatever to him.

It’s so exhausting.

No wonder, being fall in love is making us, both a joyful kid and a walking zombie.

Maybe, Just a few days before, he was nowhere inside your head but then, now, he is kinda everywhere. It’s unbelievable.

Really, this shifted feeling is so torturing, depressing, exhausting yet mesmerizing.

Why shouldn’t you throw away the junk you have?

Been watched spongebob episode that tells about how he keep all the garbages because all that has each memory. All the items he deems has sentimental value. He is hoarding memory by keeping all that junk. So that his house becomes so full that he decided to save those garbages in the yard too. Until finally his house becomes too cramped for him to live in. Then, cleaning officer tells him to clean everything up or his house will be deceased. Halfheartedly, he cleans it up. Then, his house is free and everything is clean and be normal again.

(check out: Spongebob: Sentimental Sponge Episode)

Then, it reminds me of something. Sometimes, we really should let go of the memories, especially a memory that give no good to us but pain. We really do should move on. Keep a healthy life by letting go all that shit.

p.s. finally, spongebob teaches me something :p

never mind

Never mind people’s opinion.

Never mind how people stare at you.

Never mind if people talk shit behind you.

Never mind 'bout that.

The improvement of oneself is what matter.

women

What do women really want?
Sometimes they say no but it actually means yes,

in other time they say yes but it actually means no,

You know the top secret of women;
they have no idea themselves what they want
not even in between.

That truly is complicated. 

changes

We are all growing old, really. So, we should at least try to grow up, to be mature, to be better. My age might be twenty something but my maturity is not above.. what? sixteen perhaps. So a shame.

I feel so blessed The Almighty gives so many good things in my life. I feel so blessed of having  such nice friends. I feel so bless of living in such a good environment. I feel so blessed of everything ALLAH has given to me. Everything. 

But, is that all enough to make you a good  better person? is being a thankful person enough to see yourself as a better person?

Okay, here'sone of  the simple question that can help you to re-think about yourself.

Will you marry ‘you’?

Of course, we want to have a good person to spend the rest of our life with. but, do we a good person enough to someone to live with?

Alright.. you don’t have to answer it out loud. Answer it by yourself. Listen what’s your soul really whisper.

If the answer is ‘no’, then, what the heck are you waiting for? Stand up and change! No one could change someone unless he/she lets permission to be changed. Being in a good environment isn’t enough. Well yeah, environment affects someone. But it's you, yourself, who can actually decide. It has to come from your own self, from inside of you. It should be you, it’s only you, yourself, who can change you. (With ALLAH's permission, of course.)

And, if the answer is ‘yes’, then, be happy.You already know what your worth is. At least, you love yourself. Keep upgrading yourself, then. J

I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. –Alice (Alice in Wonderland)

We are never be the same person as we were yesterday or as we will tomorrow. Changes is inevitable whether you like it or not, whether you realize it or not. All we can do is controlling it. To be who we wish we become?

HAPPY EID MUBAROK

Taqobbalallahu minna wa minkum.

Siyamana wa siyamakum kullu amin wa antum bi khoir.

Sad Nightmare

Have you ever had a very sad nightmare?
It was so sad that you woke up in teary eyes.
The blue you felt in dream was so real that it made you cried even harder.
A dream of failure in a very important matter.
                   of someone you love's death.
                   of someone you care's death.
                   of your own death.
Your heart ached so bad that nothing could help but crying.
And in a very short moment after waking up you didn't know what's real.
And all of the sudden you care even more to the others.
What a frightful nightmare.
What a stressful dream.

Change Your Music

Seorang ustadz pernah mengatakan pada suatu perkuliahan bahwa tidak akan masuk Al-Qur'an di dalam hati yang penuh keburukan. Tidak akan bercampur Al-Qur'an pada hati yang di dalamnya diisi dengan musik dan lagu-lagu. Ucapan beliau (yang kemudian saya tahu beliau ambil dari ucapan Ibnul Qayyim) selalu terngiang manakala hati tetiba dirundu galau dan berlari menuju lagu-lagu yang malah menambah kegalauan.--'

Well, creating a habit, especially a good one, is never easy. But breaking it is a way too easy.
Susah memang, terlebih saat ini. kemanapun kaki melangkah di area publik, kita dihidangkan dengan pengiring yang berupa musik dan lagu.
for more info bout music, Qur'an and heart, you'd better check.

Rasulullah Shallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam bersabda:

"Ketahuilah bahwa dalam tubuh ini terdapat segumpal daging. Jika ia baik maka baik pula seluruh tubuh ini. Dan sebaliknya, apabila ia rusak maka rusak pula seluruh tubuh ini." (HR. Bukhari 1/126 dan 4/290 - Al Fath, Muslim 1599 dari Nu'man bin Basyir radliyallahu 'anhuma)

Mungkin alternativnya, kita bisa ganti lagu-lagu tersebut dengan nasyeed. nasyeed yaa! Bukan sembarang lagu 'religi'. Beberapa waktu lalu pernah liat acara musik di TV, ada satu band (yang ga tau siapa) menyanyikan lagu berlirik 'Islami' dengan genre 'pop-rock' maybe. Isi liriknya doa-doa gitu, tapi dinyanyikan dengan berteriak-teriak. Ya, apa pantas?

Alternatif yang jauh lebih baik adalah murottal (bacaan Al-Qur'an). Banyak loooh qori-qori yang membacakan Al-Qur'an dengan nada yang merdu dan indah. Gak kalah dengan lagu-lagu itu. Bedanya, kalau dengerin ini, dijamin berpahala dan menentramkan jiwa. Trust me. It works! :p

Well, here are short biography dari beberapa Qori yang bersuara indah, yang mungkin bisa menjadi pilihan.

1. Sheikh Misyari.
Buat yang biasa dengerin murottal, pasti gak asing dengan nama beliau. Suaranya seperti imam-imam di Makkah.
Sheikh Misyari bin Rasyid Al- Afasy Misyari Rasyeed Ghareeb adalah qori berkebangsaan Kuwait. Beliau lahir pada 5 September 1976 (11 Romadhon 1396 H). Beliau belajar Qur'an di College of The Holly Qur'an dan Studi Islam di Universitas Islam Madinah dalam spesialisasi 'sepuluh bacaan dan terjemahan Al-Qur'an).
Here is his video reciting Al-Mulk.

As I searched for his bioghraphy, I found out that he sings nasyeed too and has some albums.

2. Muhammad Thaha Al-Junayd
Yang ini juga pastinya familiar ya. Banyak beredar murottal beliau saat masih kecil.
Bernama lengkap Muhammad Saleh Ibrahim Al Junayd dari Manama Bahrain, Palestina. Ia sudah dibiasakan dengan mendengarkan Al-Quran sejak dalam kandungan. Ia lahir pada 1994 dan menuntut ilmu di Markaz Abdurrahman Ajur untul Hafalan Al-Qur'an di Bahrain.
M. Thaha reciting Al-Mulk

Kalau mau bisa cek recitation dia saat remaja juga.

3. Ziyad Patel
Saya baru mengenal Ziyad Patel saat mengajar di sekolah Islam berbasis Al-Qur'an setahun yang lalu. Suara beliau juga begitu merdu seperti qori-qori sebelumnya. Mendengarnya membuat tenang. nada khasnya lebih terdengar saat beliau membaca harokat-harokat panjang.
Ziyaad Patel lahir di Ladysmith, Kwazulu Natal, Afrika Selatan. Ia mulai menghafal AlQuran pada usia 11 di bawah pengawasan Mufti Goolam Hassan Saib dari Dr Deur pada tahun 1994 di Ogies - Mpumalanga pada usia 14. kemudian dia menyempurnakan tajwid di bawah pengawasan Dr. Hafiz Abdul Qadir Hansa Sahib dan melanjutkann ke Kairo - Mesir untuk mempelajari Tajwid Al-Makhrej di Al-Azhar.

Ziyaad Patel recitation Al Mulk  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nG3NBIazk1k

Untuk yang mau belajar qori gaya beliau, coba dimulai dari mendengar dan mengikuti beliau membaca surah Al-A'raf.


4. Fatih Seferagic
First found him in facebook home when a friend of mine shared his video. He is good looking and as young as my lil sister. I even followed his twitter @FatihSeferagic
Pemuda kelahiran Jerman, 2 maret 1995 ini mulai belajar menghafal Al-Qur'an pada usia 9 tahun di suatu sekolah khusus menghafal Quran di Baltimore, Maryland dan menuntaskan hafalannya 3 tahun berikutnya. Keluarganya berdarah Bosnia dan pindah ke AS saat usianya 4 tahun. lalu ia melanjutkan mempelajari hadis, pada 2010 di Bayyinah Dream program.

Fatih recitation Al Mulk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0SGXNdgYsE

(cannot upload those two later videos :'''( )


Semoga ALLAH memberi mereka keberkahan. Dan semoga ALLAH menumbuhkan semangat kita untuk mencintai dan mempelajari Al-Qur'an. Amin.

Well, there's still many qari that have beautiful voice but sorry I only mention those four for now.
So, which one suit you best? Or maybe you can learn all of those. Bagaimanapun pilihan kita, yang terpenting adalah keinginan dalam diri kita untuk terus belajar Al-Qur'an.

Now, try to remove and delete songs from your mp3 gadgets, at least the one you most frequently use, then change into murottal.
I'm also still trying and learning. Let's try together.
Nyontek dari pesan ustadzah saya setiap kali habis setoran: 'semoga terus istiqomah ya!" :'')

Going Ghost

Have you ever felt wanting to be all alone, like all  by yourself. Turning  off your hp, being  offline from every socmed and going ghost without saying good bye for a couple weeks or a month maybe. Just to be by yourself. Enjoying your time. Like disappearing from the world you knew and exploring a new world by youself or perhaps simply just spending days with you, yourself and closest relatives. Then, when you feel it's enough to come back to the world, you'r back acting like nothing happened and a bunch of friends hitting you  so hard that they miss u damn a lot (hahaha that's not the point)
There must be a time when u just want to be with u only. Getting to know yourself again. Clearing mind away from others opinion. Seeing through your  heart and discovering who you have become.
I did it sometime, not always, not in the percise time . It just happens naturally when u feel enough of your surrounding. When you seem  to forget who u really are.
Just to get to know who iam really. just to get to know inside me.
you know yourself better than any other human. you need to look within and focus on Allah with all your heart to find the guidance you seek.
"no need to say goodbye. You'll come back when it's over" -Narnia

Learn to Forgive

All through their lives, certain people pursue a flawless image for themselves. Their efforts center around one goal: to be perfect and to look perfect. This is a natural consequence of finding it degrading to make a mistake. The ideal person, they consider, is one who can project an aura of impeccability.

However, this “flawlessness” is an illusionary goal. Neither is it one of the attributes of a believer we find extolled in the Qur’an. For man is inherently weak, humble, and helpless before Allah and can consequently make mistakes all throughout his life. No doubt, he will always do his best to avoid mistakes and sins, yet, being a frail servant of Allah, he will not be successful in being free of all mistakes. In the Qur’an we are informed that man has faults and sins before Allah:

“If Allah were to punish men according to what they deserve, He would not leave on the surface of the earth one single living creature: but He gives them respite for a stated term.” (Fatir 35:45)

You should never expect that you can live a perfect life. Flaws, faults, mistakes and miscues are inevitable and cannot be avoided no matter how hard you try. It is natural to be upset at someone when they’ve hurt you. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) told us that a Muslim is not allowed to break off ties with another Muslim for more than 3 days, recognizing that we need time to cool off. Yet what is unhealthy, and often destructive, is the inability to forgive and move on.

We have no right to expect anyone to change to suit our way of thinking. Forgiving is not an action toward or for another. Forgiving starts with ourselves. Our intent, our behavior, burden, what-have-you is lifted from our concern. Forgiveness is freedom. Forgiving ourself about the way we feel toward someone or something frees us to start new, unburdened by the weight that feeling carried.

Forgiveness is not for the weak. Being able to forgive those who have wronged you is a mark of spiritual strength and confidence. Anger is a spiritual sickness; but when you forgive you live. It doesn’t matter if the other person deserves forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. In fact, if you want to move on, the best way to do that is forgive. Resentment is a chain that binds you to the other person, but forgiveness breaks the chain, so that you can release that person along your anger.

Who benefits when someone holds a grudge? No one. Forgiving means not carrying a grudge in your heart against that person. Forgiving means that if you were given the chance to retaliate, you would choose not to.

“Hold to forgiveness, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Qur’an, 7: 199)

Forgiving is a proof of the magnificent of one’s soul. Forgiveness is important for two reasons: first, very importantly, for the life hereafter. One forgives to seek forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness is a sign of humility and forgiving others is a sign of magnanimity. We could recall the Prophet’s (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) famous saying “Have mercy on those on the earth, and the One in heaven will have mercy on you” [Tirmidhi].

"Dan hendaklah mereka memaafkan dan berlapang dada. Apakah kalian tidak ingin bahwa Allah akan mengampuni kalian? Dan sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha pengampun lagi Maha penyayang" (Qs. An Nur: 22)

Second, seeking forgiveness and forgiving others brings happiness in the worldly life - it's a psychological thing. In addition, forgiving improves relations with people by bringing good reputation and respect.

The inability to forgive affects us spiritually and psychologically, and furthermore, has a detrimental effect on our health. Psychologists have said that the inability to forgive may cause a person to repeatedly bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. The hurt and insecurity caused by our offender is projected onto others, because we were not able to move on from our previous experience. When we take the step to learn from a hurtful experience, we should be able to prevent ourselves from doing the same to others. It also teaches us sympathy.One study showed that people who focused on a personal grudge had increased blood pressure and heart rates, as well as increased muscle tension and feelings of being less in control.

Accordingly, the most important step you can take toward healing yourself is to forgive, even if the other person has not asked for your forgiveness. Once you are able to let go of wrongs that have been done to you, it changes everything. It will change your relationships, your attitudes, your emotional make-up – your whole approach to living. It will give you a better life. Plus, you’ll find that when you forgive, you’re always a winner. You don’t lose a thing. Because it’s not a sign of weakness to love somebody who hurts you. It’s a sign of strength.

Besides, this is the best time to learn to forgive. This is Romadhon, the holy month, when ALLAH opens the doors of Jannah. It is the perfect time to ask for forgiveness to HIM, The Almighty. It is the perfect time to forgive others who did wrongs to us. Above all, try to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself of doing wrongs, of doing sins, of being a jerk and a sinner. Forgive yourself! and accept wholeheartedly everything that HE gives to you; your lack, inadequacy, imperfection and of course HIS continual bless and grace. Then, bit by bit learn to be a better person.

Then, smile. SMILE. Smile to those who gave you wry face, to those you hate, to those who hate you. Smile to everything that happens to you; good or bad. It’s a life. It’s already hard and complicated. Don’t make your life even harder with those grim. Just smile. Plus, it makes you look nicer.

J J J J J